WAITING WITH PURPOSE

I was going through my old e-mails and I found this old draft I've made back in 2009:

WAITING WITH PURPOSE

When I was younger I wanted it all
I didn't care
It was all about me
Consumed in my shallowness and insecurities

Without God I was caught in a storm
I only prayed for shallow reasons
It was all about what God could do for me
Never about what I could do to serve him
I often became angry at him if things didn't go my way
I never really opened my heart and truly listen to him

I didn't have patience or the will to wait
I often had doubt
But I've learned the hard way
All the trials
All my struggles
I thank God for
Without them I would not have realized how much love I have for Him
He has brought me through
Filled my life with joy
Made my life with meaning
I am not angry
He has cleared my vision
Gave me sight
Gave me a sense of balance
He is the reason why I am alive
and I am his instrument of his gift
I strive to be the living example of why life is of value
Each life is capable of soing so many great things
We are amazing souls if only we believe

God has given me so much confidence that I had never had realized before
Everyday I thank him
This does not mean my faith has made life easier but it has given me so much comfort and strength to bear my cross
My relationship with Jesus grows stronger as I take time to pray to him and praise him through the gifts he has blessed me with
I am longing to learn more about him
I am fed through his Living Bread and Living Word
He is my spiritual food

I want to put him first
And it is a struggle at times
Every day I must remind myself of his goodness
And fully trust in his will for me...
Though things may not go as I plan, they will always fall perfectly into place.

~A.V. Lodevico

My TRIPLE A's

There is a saying: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

I think I've made God laugh many times until I've learned that life is according to his will, not mine.

There are things in life we have no control over and it is all up to God's doing. We do what we can and let God do what we can't.

When we are stuck in situations we have no control over, I like to refer to my TRIPLE A's:

1) ABSORB: Absorb means to take in. When something happens that is disappointing, heartbreaking, tragic, or traumatic, we tend to be in denial at first. Absorbing certain situations does not take overnight. It takes time to absorb. It takes time to realize. It takes time, period.

2) ACCEPT: To accept means to bear. After absorbing certain situations, we must willingly accept them because we know there is nothing else we can do. I know all I can do is pray for the strength to bear suffering. Christ accepted his will as he bore his cross and died for our sins. I know that bearing my daily cross will make me a stronger and wiser person.

3) ADJUST: Once we absorb and accept, we are now able to adjust, or adapt to change. Once time goes by we are able to move forward and look back on our past mistakes as valuable lessons in life. We are able to share with others our past experiences so that we can help others who may be going through the same situations. God calls us to support each other. Like Triple A, we can be each other's roadside assistance. :)


TRIPLE A's was something that just came to me not too long ago. God wanted me to share with you all. If you are going through a tough time, I hope this helped a little. Just hang in there. Trust in God that everything will be okay.

I have a sticker on my car that says, "Let Go and Let God." Once we are able to do this, only then will we be able to absorb, accept, and adjust. Only then, can we find peace in our hearts. Only then can we heal.

Praying for you,
Amy

Blessed Sacrament School Choir...

My students singing for the first time at the 11 AM mass with the adult choir:

Blest Are They- David Haas

This will be one of the songs my students will be singing at the 11 AM mass on January 30, 2011.

Servants of the Lord

Yesterday I was particularly touched by the homily I've heard in mass. One question the priest asked was, "How do we identify ourselves?" We may identify ourselves as daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, students, educated professionals, etc--but above all, we are to identify ourselves as servants of the Lord.

A lot of young adults like myself often ask, "What is my purpose on this earth?" I can often relate to those who are in their mid-twenties (aka the Quarter Life Crisis to a lot of young adults). In the last few years, I've been through a lot of changes and challenges. One particular challenge was when I was laid off and faced months of unemployment. Working in the entertainment business, it wasn't the first time I was ever laid off. However, I still felt a little uneasy as I was entering another period of uncertainty. What was to become of me? At least my indefinite hiatus from work allowed me to go to daily mass and to pray for God's will. Months went by and I was still unemployed. The more I prayed, the more I felt God telling me not to give up hope. "Lord," I continued to pray, "Here I am. Please tell me how can I serve you?"

It turned out that my parish school had an open art teacher position and that I was highly recommended to the principal by one of the school board members because of the artwork I've done for the church. That September, I've began my first year teaching. God calls us to use our gifts and talents that he has blessed us with. God has given me the gift of the arts, and I am to to serve the Lord by teaching his children. Teaching is not easy, but it is truly rewarding. I never thought I would become a teacher, but I feel it is what God is calling me to do for now. He might call me to do something else down the line, but now, I am to teach and help shape the lives of the younger generation.

God answers prayers in the most unpredictable and surprising ways. He answers prayers in his time, not ours. He will answer our prayers when he knows we're ready and he will never give us anything that we cannot handle. We are all called to serve God in ways we may least expect. Whether it is teaching, joining a ministry, becoming a missionary, or just talking to a homeless person on the street--we are all called to serve the Lord with the love and the holy spirit in our hearts. What can YOU do to fix the brokeness of the world?

Wife Of A Filipino Martyr

Everyone has a story to tell...

Especially my dear friend, Precious Javier, from bible study. Precious is a sweet spirited Filipina lady who reminds me of my own mother. Last night was the first time I had dinner with her and other friends from bible study. With good food and company, we'd laugh and talk casually about our daily lives. I then asked Precious about her husband. She paused for a moment and then proceeded to tell us the unforgettable story of her husband... the Filipino national martyr, Evelio Javier.

Evelio Javier grew up in the province of Antique, Philippines. Well educated, he studied law at Ateneo de Manila University and at 28, he became the governor of Antique--the youngest governor of the country during the time. Precious told us how he would always talk of hope and democracy for his people and how he was so passionate about serving the public. He became a well known activist who spoke out against the dictatorship of Ferdinand Marcos. However his activism led to his assassination on February 11, 1986. He was only 44.

As I sat and I listened to my friend Precious speak of her husband, I was amazed by her great strength as she endured the murder of her husband and the years raising her two sons alone. Despite going through such tragedy, Precious is a woman of undying faith. It is her faith that gets her through life and it is people like her that I find truly inspirational.

Everyone has a story to tell.
All we have to do is listen and learn from their experiences.
Through others we can grow in our faith.

Ubi Caritas

One of my favorite Latin prayers:

UBI CARITAS

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Congregavit nos in unum Christi amor.

Exultemus, et in ipso iucundemur.

Timeamus, et amemus Deum vivum.

Et ex corde diligamus nos sincero.

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Simul ergo cum in unum congregamur:

Ne nos mente dividamur, caveamus.

Cessent iurgia maligna, cessent lites.

Et in medio nostri sit Christus Deus.

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Simul quoque cum beatis videamus,

Glorianter vultum tuum, Christe Deus:

Gaudium quod est immensum, atque probum,

Saecula per infinita saeculorum. Amen.

TRANSLATION:

Where charity and love are, God is there.

Christ's love has gathered us into one.

Let us rejoice and be pleased in Him.

Let us fear, and let us love the living God.

And may we love each other with a sincere heart.

Where charity and love are, God is there.

As we are gathered into one body,

Beware, lest we be divided in mind.

Let evil impulses stop, let controversy cease,

And may Christ our God be in our midst.

Where charity and love are, God is there.

And may we with the saints also,

See Thy face in glory, O Christ our God:

The joy that is immense and good,

Unto the ages through infinite ages. Amen.

"The Good Little Church Girl"

On Facebook I was tagged by one of my friends as "The Good Little Church Girl" on  a photo of different characters.  I smiled because I never thought of myself as that.  In fact, growing up, I was quite the opposite.  I hated to go to church.  I thought I had better things to do than to go through an hour of sitting, kneeling, standing....I just didn't get it.  I was bored out of my mind! The reason I didn't see the importance of church was because I was "spiritually anorexic."  At sixteen, I chose to go through confirmation because my sisters were confirmed so I just blindly went through the confirmation process.  I remember once my confirmation coordinator asked if I could volunteer within the parish and you know what I've said? "I can't...I have to do homework to do."  I was really into my studies and like many other things, I've put my grades before God.

It wasn't until significant experiences in my life, that I've really began to see the fulfillment in going back home to the Church.  In times when I felt completely lost, the Church was always there to welcome me home.  I have found a familial community and sense of belonging. Even though we were all of different cultures and socio-economic backgrounds, we all have one thing in common-- OUR FAITH.   I can feel the presence of God through serving others through the gifts and talents he has given me.  I feel his presence when I sing in choir.  I feel his presence when I do artwork for Catholic Underground.  I feel his presence when I attend RCIA and bible study.    I used to think that spirituality can be achieved on our own, but now I've realized that it is very difficult to do so.  We as humans are not meant to be alone.  We cannot heal by ourselves. Through prayer we help each other heal. Through the love we show each other can we truly heal and experience the God's presence. We are the BODY OF CHRIST!

As for me, I don't mind being known as the "Good Little Church Girl."  I've wished I was known that earlier on in my life--but it's never too late!  It's never too early either.   There is nothing more beautiful than seeing parents teaching their children the importance of being part of the church, no matter how old they are.   After all,  a family that prays together, stays together. :-)

Like the Blind Man

In today's readings, a blind man comes to Jesus to be healed.  Jesus restores the blind man's sight, and the blind man can now see clearly.  A lot of times I feel like the blind man.  I feel blind to the point where I feel lost and alone in the darkness of uncertainty.  The times when I felt most blind in my life was when I would put God aside and forget about Him.  However, Jesus brings me back to the light.  He heals me of my blindness.  He allows me to see my life with all the joy and blessings he has provided me.   I just need to trust in God and know that he will allows be there to guide me for He will never leave my side.

A New Year, A New Beginning

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

It's been awhile since I've posted so I am making it my New Year's Resolution to write here more. I am excited what God has in store for us in this new year. It's a time for me to start afresh and move forward spiritually. Everyday I wake up and praise the Lord for giving me the joy of life, from the greatest bliss to the smallest moments....

This year will be an awesome year. I plan to start up a Creative Arts Ministry at my church. I want to be able to use art as a means of creative spiritual expression for the love of the Lord. Art has definitely made a difference in my spiritual life, inspiring me to creatively evangelize to others. I am hoping that by starting this ministry, I would be able to motivate not just the youth but everyone of all ages to express spiritual joy through the arts.

I will keep everyone posted on the development of this ministry. :-)

A Season to Rejoice

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Sometimes I feel like giving up, when people bring me down.
But you always come to my rescue.
You dissolve my frustrations.
You wipe away my tears.
You give me patience.
You give me strength,
You give me understanding.

I cannot do this alone.
My life is not about me and my desired purpose.
My life is about your's and YOUR purpose for me to serve.
I will put myself and my ambitions aside.
I will not fight your will.
To you I surrender my soul.

Only through you, am I at peace.
Only through you, I will find everlasting joy.

AMEN

My Car Accident

Just recently I was in a car accident and it was among the most traumatic experiences of my life. I have been in several of car accidents before but none ever shook me the way it did today.

My friend Mayra and I were just leaving from church. I was pulling away from the curb along the street from where I was parked, double checking to see if it was clear for me to go ahead. My car was already in the next lane over and before I knew it, I heard a deafening BOOM and felt glass shatter onto my body. Another vehicle plowed into my side and like a ping pong ricocheting off a paddle, my car veered into another parked car along the curb. It happened so fast and yet in slow motion. I remembered my body being flung to the passenger side toward Mayra as my car crashed into the back corner of the parked car. I was in a state of shock, I couldn't move...then I saw that there was an elderly woman in the parked car. In my mind, I prayed to God, "Please let her be alright, please let her be alright...." People rushed to the woman in the car and she was knocked out. Mayra was holding my hand. My body was stiff and I was shaking. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes. "You're bleeding Ames, " Mayra said. My hands had a few cuts from the glass. Someone from the crowd gave me a washcloth to put over my cuts. The entire window of my driver’s side had been gone. I was more concerned about the lady in the parked car. The fire department and the police came. “She is fine,” I heard someone say. The paramedics took the elderly lady on a stretcher. A group of three or so firemen came to my car. “Are you okay?” one of them asked. I nodded. Mayra said her back was beginning to hurt but said she was fine. The paramedics asked me if I needed to be taken away in an ambulance, and I said that I was just shaken up. The vehicle that plowed into me--it was a '95 Toyota Previa. I didn’t know who the driver was right away…it wasn’t until later. I saw who she was. The driver turned out to be a middle aged woman. I remember her saying sorry to me but the entire time I was in shock and I wasn’t in the state of mind to speak to her. The police filled out her contact information for me. The only damage her van had was her front right side of her fender where her headlight was torn. Though she was not arrested, I saw her get into the police car. I wanted to ask her what happened? Did she not see me? Where was she coming from?

The entire left side of my car is gone… With my whole left side taken out, I guess you can say that my car was ALL-RIGHT…(okay, enough with the corny jokes though laughter is the best medicine in serious times like these). I had my car towed back to my apartment and is now sitting there in my parking space with the entire driver’s side concaved. The impact was great enough to get my key jammed that I cannot get it out of the engine. The damage is greatest that I have ever experienced in a car accident. My car looks like a crushed sardine can.I’ve had my “ROLL” mobile (it’s a ’99 Toyota Corolla) since my senior year of high school. I loved my car dearly, but I think now is the time to let it go. I’ve decided I will take a break from driving for now.

People ask me how I am doing. I want to let you know that I am doing okay. Every time I would drive, I’d always say a little prayer for God to protect me. This morning my prayers had been answered. With an impact so great, it is a miracle that I was able to walk away with just a few scratches. I could have died right then and there, but God was really looking after me. A car is just a car…it is a machine that can always be replaced, but LIFE cannot be replaced….This morning’s accident is my testimony of God’s protection.

Instead of looking at this accident as a punishment, I am seeing it as a real blessing. You may think I’m weird for saying this but I truly believe so. It showed me the true compassion and empathetic humanity of people. People who I never spoke to before made sure I was okay. A group of passer-bys, parishioners and even the priest from the church came by and comforted me in my distress. One lady told me she and a group prayed the rosary for me. I have the greatest friends ever. (Thank you Anthony and La for going out of their way to visit and make sure that I was okay). People at work were understanding—even though we are at a deep crunch, they told me I didn’t need to go to work though I chose to go today (Thanks Debbie!). Thank you for your calls and messages. I want to thank you all for your cares and your support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am truly, truly blessed and I am happy to have people like you in my life. It is because of you, I know God lives among us and I would not have gotten through this day without you/.

My Birthday Story

On the morning of my birthday, I went to church and I waited in the gusty wind for the priest to give me a birthday blessing. It was worth the wait! He said the most beautiful blessing and it really made me feel at peace. After he gave me a blessing, I walked out the church and a homeless woman was waiting outside the church door. At first I didn't think she was waiting for me but then she started to follow me to my car. It was really windy so all that was on my mind was to get in my car. Then I heard her say, "Miss, I am sorry but do you have spare change?" I heard her and turned around. "I really am homeless," she said," I've lost everything." I didn't feel as scared or compelled to get in my car. I reached in my purse and pulled out three dollar bills and one of the bills slipped out of my hand and flew away in the wind. I wanted to dart in the middle of the street and chase after the dollar bill, lol. I think God wanted me to live past my 24th birthday so I just let the dollar bill flow in the wind. The homeless lady said, "That's okay. If I find it I'll know it was from you." She smiled as I handed her the two dollar bills. She said "Thank you. I know that God has always been there for me. I'm going through a hard time right now but I know he'll get me through this." I asked her name and she said her name was Terry. I told her, "Today is my birthday and I will pray for you. I hope my wish comes true." I gave her a hug and she said, "Thank you and God bless you. Happy Birthday." I told her that she will get through this.

It amazed me that this poor homeless woman still had faith despite everything she has gone through. The least I could do was talk to her like a human being.

Listen to God and let him into your heart. Let go and let him take control...just like that dollar bill that flew out of my hand this morning. I know that dollar bill will be found by someone who really needs it too. Did I mention, I found a dollar bill on the same street a couple of weeks ago? I know that things do not happen by accident. They happen for a reason--and the reason is for the best.

I am now a CATECHIST!

It's hard to believe that I am now a catechist. I never saw myself teaching about God or even talking about God to anyone. Now I am answering God's call and I am praying that he will give me the strength to do what he wills for me to do. As I will be helping other young adults understand the faith, I, too, will be learning so much as well. I may not know all the answers but I will continue to learn, grow, and thrive. I am ready to embark on this spiritual journey.



RCIA classes at Blessed Sacrament Church, Hollywood, CA start today, October 7, 2008.
For more information, please contact Father Jim Doogan at jdoogan@gmail.com.

CHALK ART: Blessed Virgin Mary

On Saturday September 20, 2008, a group of my friends and I did a chalk mural of our Blessed Mother @ St, Victor's in West Hollywood. Later that evening we celebrated in adoration at Catholic Underground. It was truly an awesome and gratifying experience.

St. Philomena

St. Philomena is known as the Virgin Martyr and "Wonder Worker." She was tortured and killed at the age of 14 by the order of a pagan Roman Emperor after refusing to marry him because of her fervent love for God. St. Philomena is known to have perform countless miracles to this very day.


If you ever have a chance, please read, "ST. PHILOMENA: THE WONDER WORKER" by Fr. Paul O'Sullivan


Art: This is my first saint drawing. I plan to do many more.

Happy Birthday to Our Virgin Mary!

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness, and our hope! To you we cry, poor banished children of Eve; to you we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious advocate, your eyes of mercy toward us; and after this our exile, show us the blessed fruit of your womb. Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary: Pray for us, O holy Mother of God. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Ask Fr. Jim--MIXED MARRIAGES

As we live in a world of diverse cultures and religions, the question of interfaith relationships is of top concern.

Please take time to read the blog my parish priest, Father Jim Doogan (from Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood) wrote about mixed marriages:


Mixed Marriage a commingling of Religions or Denominations

I have been promising to write my opinion on the matter of mixed marriages of differing religions or denominations. As a Catholic Priest you probably have a presumption of what I will say. Well I will not disappoint your intuition – you are right. I am not favorably disposed to them.

Establishing my credentials:
What can a priest know about marriage?
Well 1) I wasn’t born a priest.
2) Objectivity is always easier for a neutral paty.
3) And I have family members, friends and parishioners who are constantly keeping me up to date on issues.
4) And I do share a house with others so a realize the importance of daily communication.

The Apparent Majority View
In speaking to others regarding this issue it appears that the majority of people do not see this as a difficulty. Preferring to marry someone of your own religion seems to smack of racism. Many people would say “but Father when two people love each other . . . love will conquer all. Perhaps this is true.

However, I would challenge people who too readily dismiss religion as a serious concern in marriage. Are they short sighted? Or are they in essence saying that religion is an irrelevant issue in their lives? If this is the case they are right – religion has no bearing on the relationship, nor any other aspect of their lives.

Spiritual Path
Religion outlines family spiritual values and principles. It gives children a language in which to talk about God and to God. Prayer, spiritual growth and questions about religion and faith need to be contextualized. If freedom from the influence of others is a value, are we consistent with this view on other matters?

For example would we ask a child to wait until he is older before choosing a nationality or a language in which to converse? Preposterous! Should we not introduce our children to our culture, favorite poets, sports, political leanings? We teach children by who we are. We try our best to have integrity and to be truthful. We give them what we have.

If you raise a critical thinker, later she will be able to keep or discard according to an internalized value system. Therefore, when she enters adulthood and reevaluates her faith and ideals she may start moving in another direction. When she understands a religion she can better evaluate others through the use of comparison. And answer questions that have come up during religious education and practice.

If the family worships together they will more easily have theological conversation because they are exposed to the same messages, examples, and religious language. They will have access to many people educated in the field. Those with no religious upbringing often feel that they missed out, and do not know how to proceed in their spiritual walk. Everyone is different so I am sure there are those who did not miss it. I however, have not met many of them.

Not My Type
For those who are not persuaded by the argument thus far, what criteria do you use when accepting a date or when making friendships? I have often heard people dismiss a nice person by saying “Oh she/he is not my type. People do not judge or argue with this. They may be talking about a person’s race, weight, height, style, athleticism, hair length, political affiliations, music preference, social ease, humor, etc. However, “Not my type” usually does not connote religious allegiance because religion is not in vogue. Doesn’t matter in dating is implying that it just doesn’t matter? What do you want in your marriage? Do you want to settle into a family who is able to practice and celebrate the same religious holidays together?

Marry Who You Date
Believe it or not you fall in love with and marry who you date. I am not saying that it can’t work. I am pointing out that it complicates matters significantly. Anytime you marry someone who was raised differently than you there are adjustments, and compromises to make. You have to negotiate more of your relationship.

It Can Work
Two devoted people in love, from different religions can have a wonderful life together. If they realize they have to work through the religious issue before they are married with children. What church to be registered? Does the child celebrate the rites of passage in one of the religions, none or both? Does the mother take the children to church while the father stays home or goes to his services? Do you trade off every other week? What is best for the child?

I grew up on Long Island were there is much inter-marrying between Catholics, Protestants, and Jews. Big and small issues need to be addressed e.g., Keep kosher? Have images of God in your house? View the Bible as a literal history? Deal with relatives who are not happy with the situation or dismiss them out of your life? The happiest families are the ones who are able to talk and negotiate the issue. Most of the time it seems one parent ceases religious practice and let the other parent be in charge of the children’s Spiritual upbringing.

The bottom line is that love can conquer all. However, the less you have to negotiate in a marriage, the easier it will be to team up in negotiating the trials and tribulations of life.


For previous reader responses to this blog, click here:
http://news.blessedsacramenthollywood.org/doogan/2008/07/07/ask-fr-jim-mixed-marriage/

Appreciating Our Parents

Last month I went to a prayer meeting in which everyone had lost a parent--except for me. As they talked about their experiences of their loss, I thought to myself--I am so blessed to still have both my parents here on this earth with me. I admit that I often took my parents for granted when I was growing up, but now, I truly value them in my life.

My parents are getting older and their health is getting fragile as time passes by. There was a time when I almost lost my mother due to a health complication. It was the miracle of God that gave my mother a second chance to life. Because of this, I have been awakened to my faith. From there on, I knew that God never lets a prayer go unanswered.

Not all of our parents are perfect, but we can still develop our relationships with them while they are still with us. When was the last time you told your parents that you loved them? When was the last time you let them know that you appreciate them for everything they've done for you? It is never too late to let them know...